What follows is a very long email exchange between yours truly and an unsuspecting girl. It’s meant for all you voyeurs out there. Be forewarned though… it is unedited and very looooong, so don’t get pissed when the story abruptly ends in a way you weren’t expecting…

ok… so get a drink and get comfortable, because this is a long tale of a very desperate dater… but START AT THE BOTTOM AND READ UP TO THE TOP…OR YOU WILL READ THE LAST REPLY FIRST AND BLOW THE WHOLE THING…

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On 10/02/2005 05:39 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

I would love to meet with you, but I can’t. I’m not who you think I am. In fact, not even close.

As far as me telling you about myself, don’t be mad, but I’m not the pretty brunette in the picture. I’m not even a brunette, Well I am but my hair is bleached now.

I don’t live in town. I used to and live in somewhere else now.

Pretty much everything is made up.

Before you get mad, I sort of liked you at the beginning and when you asked for a pic, I didn’t know what to do so I sent one of two friends. Online you have the option of being anyone you want to be. At first, I just figured you would be like everyone else and nothing would go anywhere.

But the person you’re “attracted” to is not me, just someone I thought you would like. I never dreamed things would go this far and apologize.

I figured I would come clean before you talk to Jaime about me and find out the truth. Although we haven’t talked face to face in a while, she knows me pretty well and can probably fill you in on anything you want to know about me.

I know I should have been more honest and i understand you being mad and all I can offer is an apology. I’m sorry.

On 10/02/2005 05:15 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ok, back…

hey, look, Jaime is cool, I like her, nice person, we talked more after we left there, and have plans to follow up the interview with some photos, so I’m not at all opposed to being friends with her… but I’m not really physically attracted to her, so I don’t think it would go the dating way, which is fine. But you already opened the door so there is no need to do anymore… my problem is simply meeting people, after that, it’s easy for me…. I’m a very sociable hermit:)

ok, so… as far as we are concerned, we have a few options here as I see it. We can just drop it, or, if you like, maybe we could just talk about it a little more. I know that may sound a little odd, but we both know I’m a little odd, so that shouldn’t surprise you. I sensed something in your profile that made me want to contact you…. I think this is what I sensed. I think that when 2 people are attracted (for lack of a better word) to each other, there is potential for personal growth. If you like, we could try and get a little deeper into this and maybe if we do, you might learn something about yourself that might benefit you in the future… or you might not, I don’t know. All I’m offering though is friendship, not a thing more. You have my word on that.

If you *don’t* want to talk about it, that this whole ‘virtual’ relationship IS the problem, then we of course we can just drop it. It’s totally up to you. I’m no therapist for sure, but I’ve read quite a bit about fear of commitment/intimacy plus because of my own obsessive/compulsive nature, my mind can rip through things to solve things that most people would never even attempt. Basically, I just think this is a unique opportunity if you want to take advantage of it. You say you are looking for someone you’re just not sure who…. well, maybe you just found that person:) take your time, think about it. even if you want to drop it now and change your mind later, that’s fine. Whatever you want to do…

On 10/02/2005 04:04 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

You shouldn’t feel bad. I should. I didn’t feel pressure to meet you. It was my idea to invite you. I just froze up and couldn’t. So please, don’t feel bad. It’s not you. It’s me.

This online thing just is not for me. I’m just not that open and receptive to this. I don’t know why I tried it. I’m sorry again.

Anyways, my aunt said she saw you there talking to Jamie. I told her you didn’t let her say a word for three hours last week. She asked how in the world you kept her quiet for three hours. Apparantly she remembers her too well.

I really think you should give her a try. I don’t know if she’s even single or looking. In her email, she said, you’re a loon, but I think she meant that in a good way. I think you two are more alike than either of you think and if you need someone to keep you on your toes, she would be the one.

I know, I know. Stop it. I’m just trying to do what I think is best. Even if not as a date, as a friend. Give it some thought, and if you like I can do some digging around for you, tell her I want to catch up. We were best friends back in school. Maybe see how she feels. All up to you though.

and again, sorry.

On 10/02/2005 03:44 pm PDT, admin wrote:

I’m really sorry I stressed you out. I mean, I’m not mad at all… I’m just surprised that I had such an affect on you. do you want to talk about it? You know, I sincerely was just coming to meet you just as friends? Maybe you thought I would latch on, even as a friend? I don’t mean to press you, but if there is anything I can do, or understand, I’m happy to help…. or just listen. Or if you just don’t want to talk and leave it here, that’s fine with me…. whatever you like. I just feel bad now that I made you feel pressured to meet me…. I didn’t mean to, I just thought it would be fun. Whatever you want to do… no worries here.

On 10/02/2005 03:16 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Yes, I got off work, changed clothes, headed to town, even drove up Front Street, but couldn’t stop. I’m sorry. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t. I hope your day wasn’t a complete waste because of me.

On 10/02/2005 03:13 pm PDT, admin wrote:

wow, you serious?

On 10/02/2005 02:44 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

I chickened out. I’m sorry

On 10/02/2005 02:11 pm PDT, admin wrote:

don’t tell me: car troubles?:) never in my life, then 2 no shows in one weekend…. I’ll have to write this one down on my calender. heeheh I assume everything is ok and you just got stuck working

Ran into Jaime there and got up to speed on the landfill issue, so it all worked out:) … catch you later.

On 10/01/2005 09:14 pm PDT, admin wrote:

you know a crazy girl named Megan? an odd girl, to say the least…

On 10/01/2005 09:06 pm PDT, admin wrote:

cool, I’ll be the one wearing the Gene Simmons boots…

VA girl just wrote…. said she was having car troubles. Even if its true, its rude to tell me *after* we were supposed to meet. But at least she wrote.

On 10/01/2005 06:03 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

it’ll be cutting it close but yes

On 10/01/2005 05:05 pm PDT, admin wrote:

sounds great:) Meet you there at a quarter to?

On 10/01/2005 02:11 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

How much more un-date-like can i make it sound:)

Anyways, I switched shifts and should be able to make it back by 3.

On 10/01/2005 01:11 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“At the very least, you get out of the house and i get you off my back.”

oh, if you put it that way, I’d *love* to go:) eheheheh …just let me know if you can get off work.

On 10/01/2005 12:30 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Hey there’s a possibility of meeting up with me tomorrow….if i can get off work. At 3 at the Theater there is going to be a movie a group put together about a landfill planned for the area. My family lives in across from there, so they have been pretty active in fighting it since it will effect them alot. Jamie saw it and said my aunt was in it. Hopefully i can get off though. Just a possibility. At the very least, you get out of the house and i get you off my back.

On 10/01/2005 10:17 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

“ok, I need to defend myself here a little… just so you know, if I went out on a date, I would not talk about my ex. I told you about that, because I thought it might paint a better picture for you. ”

I didn’t mean it to sound like you talk a lot about your ex. I meant he was like you in that it was all him.

as far as Jaime, you’re right.. both barrels. You made quite an impression on her.

going out…I didn’t say look desparate or worst yet, act desparate. Just be yourself, well..maybe tune it back a little at first…

As far as needing a reason to go out…just go out for yourself. You don’t need to “think up” some sort of reason. That’s why i wanted you to ask someone out…even as a friend or potential friend. Hell, you don’t even need to hang out together ever again. But it would get you out of the house, even for a short time.

On 10/01/2005 09:54 am PDT, admin wrote:

sorry your date didn’t work out as hoped…. you had the right idea, maybe even the right guy, just the wrong timing apparently.

ok, I need to defend myself here a little… just so you know, if I went out on a date, I would not talk about my ex. I told you about that, because I thought it might paint a better picture for you. Also, Jaime and I were not on a date, nor did we just meet on the street…. the entire point of our conversation was to get information on me, not her, so I gave her both barrels:) If I just met her somewhere, I would have asked questions of my own, about her….

“You’re a hard nut to crack.” I’m not though…. I ASKED you where to go and you told me the gas station. I’ve been to the gas station, and in all my life I’ve never seen anyone there of interest. I know what you are saying, ‘you have to play to win’:) I have to get out of my house. I agree. I just don’t know where to go. As far as I can tell, there really is nothing to do in this town. Maybe I’ll try a coffee shop/bookstore or something, I don’t know. The way to do it is just be ‘out’ enough, doing whatever you were planning on doing anyway, and then stumble upon someone…. I get it. I just don’t really have a reason to go anywhere, so I need to think one up. I just hate the feeling I have when I do things like that though… couldn’t feel more like a loser. drive 30 miles to walk around and scam on girls. better than lurking in the gas station, I guess.

On 10/01/2005 08:22 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

BTW…I just received a funny as hell email from Jaime.

On 10/01/2005 07:20 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Too bad about the Va. girl. Like that was really going anywhere. Anyways, date talked about no one but his ex. that was fun. Actually it sounds like you a little bit. not so much the ex part, but the fact that he dominated the entire conversation. Sound familar?

You’re a hard nut to crack. I’m just trying to get you out in the world…away from house, computer, etc. You just won’t give. Maybe you’re not really looking to break the circle.

On 10/01/2005 06:32 am PDT, admin wrote:

oh no… what happened? yikes 9:30 sounds like it went nowhere fast.

c’mon, cut me some slack, it was an interview.

no word from VA girl… looks like she never came up and never bothered to call, so it looks like another action packed weekend:)

On 09/30/2005 06:25 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Well, that sucked. 9:30 p.m. and I’m back from my “date”.

“maybe you are right. but to be honest it was all business, so nothing really even sparked as the friendship thing”

How could it. You didn’t shut up for 3 hours.

On 09/30/2005 02:03 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“Like I should be taking advice from you and you from me.”

I think you’ve offerred good advice so far, and even though I’ve told you some wild stuff, I don’t recall ever offering any really weird advice… add a picture to your profile, I hate to admit, wasn’t exactly my idea:)

“So ask her out, even just as friends.”
… maybe you are right. but to be honest it was all business, so nothing really even sparked as the friendship thing. And remember, I asked you out as friends, so you know I’m not opposed to asking someone out like that. I don’t think you ever believed me thats all I was thinking, but I swear I was. She just didn’t strike me that way.

Anyway, Let me know how it turns out for you. Fingers crossed:)

On 09/30/2005 01:48 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

“ehheeh I AM letting you help”

Frankly I find it disturbing that we’re helping each other at all. Like I should be taking advice from you and you from me. Neither of us have a life.

“…. so far besides her, I haven’t literally seen another girl, to ASK out.”

So ask her out, even just as friends. She’s really involved with her work so I don’t think she would expect or even wants more right now.

“I’d rather meet someone in real life, I really would, I just don’t know where to go.”

What effort are you putting forth? Sitting in front of your computer. I’ve never been one to think a bar or club is a great place to meet someone. Ex. Tonight’s date - gas station. Doubt it will go anywhere, but hey, at least between the two of us, I won’t be sitting in front of a computer.

On 09/30/2005 01:43 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ehheeh I AM letting you help…. so far besides her, I haven’t literally seen another girl, to ASK out. I’d rather meet someone in real life, I really would, I just don’t know where to go.

tell me, if you were a single guy, no friends, where would YOU go tonight? Don’t just say OUT, I’m serious… where would you go? What would you do? Sure I can go to the Skeller, and SEE girls sitting at tables with other people, but there is no way in hell I’m just going to walk over to them and sit down. Maybe 15 yrs ago I was like that, but the years havent been too kind

On 09/30/2005 01:35 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Maybe she can help you find a date? Since you won’t let me help.

On 09/30/2005 01:31 pm PDT, admin wrote:

chalk it up on my list…

cograts on your date! good for you… and you actually met the guy face to face? you are an inspiration:) I guess maybe this sounds a little more promising than the online stuff, because if you asked him out something must have clicked, right? Well, that’s cool. Hopefully that turns out for you…

The conversation was decidedly one sided… no doubt about it…. basically about 5+ little questions and a lot of note taking:) Most of it was on things we really haven’t touched on here…. obviously nothing about dating and that stuff…. mainly about places I’ve been, things I’ve done, a few stories….. Also why I came back, my current state of affairs, and the future. Enough for a side column I’d figure.

as far as love at first sight, I didn’t say EVERY girl I meet, I fall in love right off the bat, just that it’s happened before… I told you about my last girlfriend, right? 2 years ago I met her in a parking lot at a dog adoption center… I was completely smitten. I went home that night and told my mother and sister on the phone about her in extensive detail…. I thought about her off an on while I was gone, thinking I missed an opportunity. 2 years later they still remembered everything about her that I told them because I was so crazy about her. I’d say that was love at first sight, so I know it can happen to me.

…it all depends on the girl and the situation, but so far, I can’t ever remembering ending up with a girl I didn’t immediately like.

On 09/30/2005 01:21 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

you’re not very good at this

On 09/30/2005 01:10 pm PDT, admin wrote:

well, I did just write you another fucking email but word verification screwed me up yet again….

hold on

On 09/30/2005 12:52 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

One other thing

“Usually I just wait until I think I’d like her enough to go out on several dates before I’d ask her out (if that is possible) It’s that love at first site thing you don’t agree with me on.”

I think I just won my argument. You don’t know if its love at first site. You wait a few times to see if there actually is anything. Yes, you might be able to tell right off if there’s a spark, but I’m sure there’s been times when you didn’t. Maybe not. You tell me.

On 09/30/2005 12:40 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

And I met the person….get this….in person and I did the asking out. How about you?

On 09/30/2005 12:38 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Three hours!!!

All right, She’s good so I know she’ll find something in there to use. Probaby good you left out certain things, but I know Jaime and she could have handled it. Nothing surprises her.I don’t get to talk to her as much as we used to. We were really good friends in high school, but with the exception of occasionally running into one another, don’t really see her much.

But three hours!!! What the hell did you find to talk about for three hours!!! And how did you keep her quiet that long? She’s not usually quiet. At least she wasn’t before.

BTW…another “date” tonight.

On 09/30/2005 11:37 am PDT, admin wrote:

hey, just wanted to let you know I met your friend today…. I had a 3 hour monologue with her, instead of her normal interview format:) I took your advice and left out all the stuff about the piercing and my sexual fetishes, so I think it went well enough. I really don’t know if she’ll be able to use any of it though… or maybe I should say, I’m not sure what part, if any, she can use. we started with ‘a little background information’ that quickly turned into my life story timeline. I think most of it was well beyond the scope of what she was looking for…. surprise:)

On 09/29/2005 08:13 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“Does this mean you don’t make the first move at all?”

not physically usually, no. I’m not saying I *never* would, just that I prefer it when she kisses me, or undresses herself, or me…. then she feels more in control of where she wants to go with it and there isn’t a way I would make her uncomfortable, or rush anything (in terms of weeks, or in hours.)

“Even asking the girl out?”

I’ll ask a girl out…. even like you said…. I saw a girl on a subway once, turned around and asked her out cold. no dice… she was on the way to the airport to pick up her boyfriend:)

“Or do you like her to be the assertive one and ask you out?”

that’s fine as long as I like her. I have a real problem hurting people’s feelings…. so much so that I’ve never really just ‘dated’ people… I wouldn’t know what to do after a mediocre date. I’m the guy that would say he’ll call you and then actually does just because he said he would so he didn’t hurt your feelings, but still doesn’t know how to get out of it…. it’s like a Seinfeld episode. Usually I just wait until I think I’d like her enough to go out on several dates before I’d ask her out (if that is possible) It’s that love at first site thing you don’t agree with me on. I can tell within a few minutes if there is a spark… in fact, I’d go so far as to say I could tell from a videotape of her interacting with other people, not even me. I don’t ever remember being wrong in the past. Maybe, like my ex, I missed something, but I wasn’t wrong about what I saw, if that makes sense.

“I got the impression too aggressive scared you”

I can’t really answer that in a way that you’d understand because it’s just a ‘feel’ thing.

No. Aggressive is sexy. Very attractive. And that’s the problem. I like it. I’ve only seen it a few times in girls and twice with girls I went out with. They both were tall, very desirable girls. They were complete packages… educated, had money, *excellent* conversationalists, and were wild in bed… and they *knew* this, and they knew EXACTLY how to manipulate you…. and it was so pleasant that even if you sensed it, it made you feel like it was ok because thats what you wanted anyway. These girls were masters at screwing with men… and they exuded a confidence about them that made you feel on top of the world because you knew that they could have just about anyone, and they wanted you. They didn’t play games, they played for keeps. They were direct. They cut right to the chase. But then they’d leave as fast as they came. I can’t say for sure, because I’ve only really been with 2 like that, but I think that’s the pattern. This new girl exudes that same confidence. I sparked this girls interest like a baby bunny catches the eye of a hawk. But I can’t tell you for sure until we meet. I don’t have much to go on yet, but my defenses just reared up, and that usually doesn’t ever happen to me. Maybe I’m just a little hypersensitive…. we’ll see.

On 09/29/2005 05:59 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan” wrote:

Does this mean you don’t make the first move at all? Even asking the girl out? Or do you like her to be the assertive one and ask you out? A few days ago, I got the impression too aggressive scared you, at least away from thinking it could work long-term.

On 09/29/2005 03:28 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“So you’re looking for a relationship, but if you can’t find one, you’ll settle for sex.”

yes, something like that. I’m just being completely honest. I’m not trying to convince you that I’m the best guy in the world, that I’m the guy for you, or for any of your friends, or anyone for that matter. I’m just telling you about me and how I feel, right now, at this moment. Since ‘93 I’ve slept with 5 girls. In fact, I’ve only kissed 5 girls. (yes, they are the same girls:)

I didn’t sleep with anyone for like 4 years after college. Then I met Marry . I think I probably slept with her after about a month (on her prompting.) We broke up about 4.5 yrs later. Then I met a girl in a parking lot after she saw my truck and followed me 15 miles into a Walmart shopping center. She had worked in AK like me, blah , blah, blah, and she ended up staying the night because the roads were too bad to go home, and got into my bed naked in the middle of the night and woke me up. That lasted a few weeks. That was a ‘rebound fling’, if you will. Then nothing for about a year. Then I went to London and met a 22yr old I knew from online business circles (not personals) and we hooked up for the weekend. Then another year passed. I came back here for the summer (about 2 yrs ago) met a 22yr old girl at a car club gathering and she pursued it. I explained I was leaving in a few months and that I wasn’t really up for anything, she basically told me she was leaving within the month and just wanted to have sex with me. Fine. That lasted 2 weeks, then she left, everything was cool. Then nothing for a year again, then I went back to London for another convention, saw the same girl I did last time, and the same thing happened again. Then nothing again for a year or so until I came back here and was with Jane. We didn’t sleep together for 2 or 3 weeks (on her prompting.)

That’s it. That’s every girl I’ve been with in 12+ years. So basically a few flings and 2 girlfriends. Jane and I had a healthy sex life and then that ended abruptly, leaving me not only crushed, but ravenously horny. So at this point, like always, I’d really like to meet a potential lifelong partner. That’s what I’d REALLY like. That’s what would make me feel the way I want to feel. So that’s my primary goal. If I met a girl however, that was ok, but not really that girl, I’d back out before things got physical. I don’t want to mess with anyone, or hurt their feelings. But if I met a girl that I liked being around and she happened to like me, but we both didn’t think it was really meant to be, but she wanted casual sex, liked the rebound fling girl, or the one I met here, and that worked, and we both limited our emotional involvement so that we both knew where we stood… yeah, I’d love just seeing her a few times a week, grabbing a bite to eat and having some fun. And if I met a new girl that I thought might go somewhere, I’d stop seeing see and completely involve myself with the new girl I liked.

I’m not saying that is healthy, I’m not saying that is even likely, but sometimes things like that happen, and right now, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But the only way it would work is if we both knew we were just friends and liked having sex with each other. But I wouldn’t just use a girl for sex who liked me. Not even remotely interested in that. I get off on getting other people off; physically, emotionally, intellectually.

“Are you willing to wait for the sex?”
Absolutely. And the truth of the matter is, I never ever make the first move. I never even try to kiss a girl on the first date… or the second, or third… usually I wait for the girl to throw herself at me. I’m trying to think of a case that wasn’t so, but I really cant. The only one out of the 5 that came close was the London girl and that was pretty much just mutual and good timing and it was obvious which way things were going….. BUT I already knew her online for over a year or so. Before that, well, it’s just too long ago to remember and it was college, and I was in a few longer relationships that get me going back too far to remember. But usually, I like the girl to basically tackle me…. that way there is no way I’m misreading signals, even if they are obvious

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On 09/29/2005 02:32 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

So you’re looking for a relationship, but if you can’t find one, you’ll settle for sex. Nice. What if you find a relationship? Are you willing to wait for the sex? I’m just trying to figure the ” very complicated simple person” out. (And you say I contradict myself) BTW I think you’re warm. I think its a little of both.

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On 09/29/2005 01:13 pm PDT, admin wrote:

…nakedness. I don’t like being looked at, although I like looking at my partner naked. that’s it. I’m not a fan of showering together for that reason too. I’m just shy about my body, although there really isn’t anything really wrong with it.

….again, something I guess I shouldn’t say, since it involves sex, and waaaay too much information, but that’s really about all I was thinking about at the moment when I said that.

“you seem concerned I might give up on you and quit talking?”

no, not at all…. honestly I never really expected this to go on the way it has, but it’s been a fun distraction, so I just keep replying. I’ve asked you if you wanted to meet up several times now, as friends, and you’ve declined every time, so I don’t see exactly where this will really go, if you don’t want to be real life acquaintances, but I’m not all that stressed about it either… it’s the journey, not the destination.

I’ll let you in on a secret… I’m not as crazy as I make myself out to be. Underneath all the jokes, and crazy jobs, and all the other stuff, I’m a pretty nice, but lonely, guy. I got a good heart and a sharp mind, and I’m bored as hell, and trying to get over a girl that broke my heart because I laid it out there on the line for the taking. and I’d do it again. That’s just the way I am. I don’t think I tried to cover my tracks too well for you; you’ve seen real glimpses of me…. there really isn’t that much more to tell you, besides stories, but even those are just exclamation points in what otherwise has been some very boring sentences in my life’s story.

…so there you go. I’m a very complicated simple person. I’m online because I really would like to meet the right girl for me, and if I can’t do that, I wouldn’t mind curling up with the wrong girl for a while and blowing off some steam. You don’t fall into either category, as far as I can tell, so I was hoping we could get to know each other enough to see if we click as friends, but you don’t want to get too involved yet because you still aren’t too sure about me and you aren’t one to pour out your soul to someone you don’t know, but you are puzzled enough by me to hear my story, if I want to tell it freely… am I warm?

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On 09/29/2005 01:08 pm PDT, admin wrote:

hahahahaha see? now THAT is funny…

hold on…. got a big one for you

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On 09/29/2005 12:36 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

So, tell me about your childhood?

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On 09/29/2005 12:34 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ok, wait, let me slow down a bit…

serious…. that *was* a joke…. when you said “So what are you shy about?” it just struck me funny…. like something you’d hear in a movie…. ’so, tell me about your childhood’, that type of thing. The ‘personal’ quip, was funny because you were right, I shouldn’t have told you about my little ornament…. or at least I forget I shouldn’t mention those things to people (girls in particular) that I don’t really know…. it just doesn’t seem that personal to me. Its not like I would show it to you. I just struck me funny, that’s all. sometimes ‘tone’ doesn’t come across right in my letters.

ok… shy… give me a minute…

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On 09/29/2005 12:30 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You are one complicated man.

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On 09/29/2005 12:28 pm PDT, admin wrote:

eheheheh no i got LUNCH! I missed the ‘forget it’ line

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On 09/29/2005 12:27 pm PDT, admin wrote:

sorry if that came off wrong… I just got a sandwich:) ehehehhe

right, I don’t know a thing about you, and that’s ok, honestly. I’m totally open about crazy intimate stuff…. that’s just me.

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On 09/29/2005 12:25 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

you seem concerned I might give up on you and quit talking?

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On 09/29/2005 12:24 pm PDT, admin wrote:

hey, wait, I was kidding:) that was the joke…

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On 09/29/2005 12:07 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

And as far as “getting personal,” you’re the one who divulged the intimate details. not me

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On 09/29/2005 12:06 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

fine. forget it

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On 09/29/2005 12:04 pm PDT, admin wrote:

getting a little personal now, aren’t we? heeheheh tell me more, tell me less, tell me more…. I don’t know …maybe over a few beers:) are you sure you aren’t the psychoanalyst here?

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On 09/29/2005 11:51 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

So what are you shy about?

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On 09/29/2005 11:49 am PDT, admin wrote:

only about some things…. just maybe not the things you might expect. I’m a very honest person though…. shockingly so maybe. I always laugh when I hear these girls say they want a guy to ‘keep it real’, that they don’t want someone who will play games, that they are looking for honesty and loyalty. Wait until they get a load of me:)

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On 09/29/2005 11:33 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You didn’t freak me out, but I must admit, you definitely are not shy.

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On 09/29/2005 11:32 am PDT, admin wrote:

ok, I’ll pipe down… sorry… didn’t mean to freak you out:)

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On 09/29/2005 11:17 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

Again I will say I know Waaaay to much info about u

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On 09/29/2005 11:15 am PDT, admin wrote:

yeah, I was really head over heels for her. actually, I’ve never liked anybody so much, so fast, ever before… even Marry, who I lived with. No idea what it was about her, I just liked everything. It wasn’t her idea, btw, I just knew she dug that stuff. I drove by that new tattoo place on whatever that street was on town, and was like WTF, no big deal, just do it where no one will see. I pierced my own ear when I was younger so I was like, ‘oh it’ll just sting a bit’ ehhehehe that was the understatement of the year:) Hell, first they grabbed the fucking thing with some type of hemostats and that enough was enough to get you woosey. Then comes the elephant needle just in time to get your mind off the initial pain. “take a deep breath…” I guess that is so you don’t collapse a lung when you scream. Then the ring comes with its own batch of fun. then they have to take the hemostats OFF…. by squeezing them tighter so it releases. And just when you think its over, they tell you you have to soak it 3X a day in HOT salt water, so you get to re-live all the fun over and over. I should have just brought her flowers…She did like it though…. you would have thought I took a bullet for her by the way she acted. but, well, you know the rest …at least it wasn’t a tattoo with her name on it:)

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On 09/29/2005 11:03 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

Ugh!

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On 09/29/2005 11:01 am PDT, admin wrote:

hehehe well, they warned you about all the weirdos that hang out on these personal… now you know:) Yeah, bad idea… did that for Jane because she was into it… decided to leave it in after we broke up, since I got that far. I guess you could say, it stuck (pun intended:)

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On 09/29/2005 10:43 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You know what…Frankly I know waaaay too much infomation about you.

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On 09/29/2005 10:16 am PDT, admin wrote:

well, I just wrote you another witty and exceedingly long email and forgot how fucking paranoid yahoo is, and lost it after they made me log back in. They do that to me all the time, but this time I didn’t write it in another application and paste it in… I’ll have to get the next girl I have sex with to SLAP ME, in hopes of burning it into my mind. ehheheheeh (Actually, I got ‘IT’ pierced 2 months ago, so I don’t need any additional pain in my sexual experiences for fear of encountering any performance problems:)

“You have to play to win!”
…. that’s lotto, not football, btw, and no, I’m not a compulsive gambler, I just like slogans that make sense and that dont use big words.

“But going out with me, even for a drink, is not going to help you get a date.”
…man, you are TOUGH!!! I swear I’m not trying to get all ‘clingy’ on you, I just want to go OUT somewhere, like all the normal people, and just hang out. just friendly…. I CAN be ‘just friends’ with girls, you know. Not everything has to be about getting a date. Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be doing, uh, nothing.

“I think I’m going to take it off, as well as the entire profile. ”
…then the prophecy has been fulfilled. I TOLD you you weren’t going to be happy with the results if you went about it that way. Put a nice head shot up, and add a few more paragraphs to the profile…. I’m not saying make it all bubbly, just add a few more paragraphs… then let it ride for a bit and give it a chance.

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On 09/28/2005 07:50 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

BTW… What the hell are you? a cheerleader also? “You have to play to win!” Gimme a break

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On 09/28/2005 07:48 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You might get slapped, but then again you said you like sex and you’re not picky about what kind, so maybe you like it a little rough.

As far as my pic, I think I’m going to take it off, as well as the entire profile. I’m serious. I’m just going to pick some guy off the street that semi-appeals to me, and see where it goes…provided no baby stroller and no ring.

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! I understand you’re tied down with work, but you need to get out. But going out with me, even for a drink, is not going to help you get a date. Hey look at him. He’s hot. Damn, there’s some bitch with him.” Oh well.

Now, I’m going to be your teacher, though I’m not sure I;m qualified. Your homework for the week: ask an actual human, living being out, and here’s the catch….FACE 2 FACE! Do it!

And so much for the sleep.

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On 09/28/2005 07:38 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“Hi. I’m admin and I’m a professional car racer and I like sex.”

…you know, I think I’m going to switch that out with my current profile. heheheeh Maybe I *will* start saying that to girls…. I mean I might get slapped but then again, I might get very lucky!

ok, I’m not tired yet….

no no no… you can’t give up yet. I swear to god, all these sour assed, skeptical guys are going to come out of the woodwork now that they see your picture. Hell, most guys have their browsers set to only look at profiles with pictures…. you are going to get 10X the press, mark my words…. you got to play to win.

“Surely you have seen someone who appeals to you.”
swear to god, not a single one. In fact, not a single person in this townsince I got here, with the exception of this girl with a very nice butt I saw today…. but she was pushing a baby carriage, and well, I *bet* she was unavailable. But you hit it on the head…. I don’t leave the house with the exception of driving to the store…. ever. I have nowhere TO go. Where IS there to go? Last time I was at the pub, there was like 19 local guys and one skanky looking woman…. and she was taken.

“OK this has completely 100 percent ruled me out.”
well then, Ms. Skeptical, since you already shot this relationship down, does this mean we can go out for a beer/coffee as friends? Seriously, I’m fucking dying just to get out of the house, and off this computer. Plus you couldn’t possibly set me up with one of your friends, without meeting me first, right? (Unless you don’t like your friends, or you aren’t a very good person to be friends with, etc.) What do you say? buy you a drink?

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On 09/28/2005 06:55 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

oh, they aren’t going to let you use that as your main profile pic because they want just a clear head shot…. c’mon dig up a better one and upload it… you went this far:)

NO. I am totally committed to setting you up now. I gave up on myself.

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On 09/28/2005 06:51 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You are such a nut.

Now that that’s out of the way.

OK so maybe high maintenance is not the right choice of words. I’m not great with words. let’s see. maybe I’ll just go back to “You’re a nut”

Sneaky? Who me? Nah. Just trying to help you out.

As far as coffee…just that…coffee. Nothing as far as chemistry, no spark. Friend maybe, but nothing more.

Old-fashioned way. Why is it harder than you think? Just ask someone. Surely you have seen someone who appeals to you. You have to leave your house sometime. Even trolls leave at some point. I agree, this area is not the place to pick up singles as far as bars, clubs, etc. But maybe you are trying to hard. Instead of trying at bars, clubs, etc. look elsewhere.

If you see someone attractive, even somewhat, just walk up to them and say “Hi. I’m admin and I’m a professional car sled racer and I like sex.” OK, don’t say that because you might scare them away. Or maybe not, who knows.

Come on. Think back to this week. Besides the people you meet here or any of the other trillion singles sites you use, isn’t there at least one person who you saw that you kinda have an interest in? Someone you saw while eating at the pub? at the store? Anywhere? or do you really stay inside, because it is very hard to meet anyone when you don’t leave the house. Unless you count the utility people or delivery people, but in my experience, most of them are men.

“You say you want someone capable of making a commitment but at the same time say you’re afraid of the one who is confident?” Frankly, I don’t know where the hell I was going with that. It made sense to me at the time, but now not so much.

As far as you’re ideal girl…The blonde girl is definately more attractive than Jane , but I’m a woman and typically we’re bitches and I’m more likely to dislike any other woman so don’t ask me.

“has a positive perspective on life”. OK this has completely 100 percent ruled me out. I love to complain.

Think hard about what I said. Or at least, take me up on my offer to make the effort to meet someone…not online.

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On 09/28/2005 06:49 pm PDT, admin wrote:

oh, they aren’t going to let you use that as your main profile pic because they want just a clear head shot…. c’mon dig up a better one and upload it… you went this far:)

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On 09/28/2005 06:28 pm PDT, admin wrote:

oh, that pretty girls pic didnt come out right…. add a ‘g’ to the end, so it ends with .jpg, like this… (hopefully it will come out)

http://XXXXXXXXXXX.jpg

heehhehe I just saw your pic! You’re a cutie! Now you will need to edit your profile so people know which one is you:)

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On 09/28/2005 06:25 pm PDT, admin wrote:

heeheheh yes, I’m *very* happy about your picture:) that’s great news… you’re going to get a lot more responses for sure now:) just you wait…

“That’s why I’ve been prying for info:)”
ahhh, you’re sneaky like that, huh? I’m flattered, actually…. first the paper, now friends:) You keep this up and I’ll finally have to come right out and ask what this huge character flaw is in me that keeps you at a such safe distance:) oh, I remember now…. too high maintenance for you, gotcha;)

“went out to have coffee with someone today.”
whoa, good for you! so, cough it up, how did it go? anything good come of it? heeheheh see it’s working… you’re making connections.

“the old-fashioned way”

well, it’s harder than you think. Now that Jane is gone, I have literally zero friends here…. as in none. Wait, my other ex girlfriend, Marry … we went out for 4 yrs, lived together for 2…. we’re still friends and I like her boyfriend, but they don’t do much and she has no friends to set me up with, but I do go out with her crew once in a while and have a good time. So other than her, no real friends. Second, I work out of my house…. no office friends. Third, I have tried to go out to bars, but there is no one in them besides kids spilling drinks on themselves. The few 30 something bars, if you want to call them that, are places where you go when you already know someone…. it would be bizarre to try and sit down at someone’s table with them, even for me:) I’ve even eaten by myself at the pub here in town, because its about the only bar here I know that I’m not worried about going into alone:) no dice. So that leaves some type of new hobby or something, or a class, or something…. but I have to wake up at 4:15am every other morning to run the track… so I’m pretty wiped out and not dying to try and pick up something new. So essentially, I’m in a rut. It’s like groundhog’s day; every day is the same for me… computers and cars, computers and cars. It’s been like that forever. I met Jane by chance in a parking lot, but that was so random I took it as a sign from God, and I’m not even religious:)

“I’m not the mayor’s daughter”
no big deal, I’ll tell you later…. maybe try to use it to leverage you into adding some text to that thing you call your profile:)

“companionship”
I hear you, me too. but don’t dwell on that thought too long, or it really can overwhelm you.

“You say you want someone capable of making a commitment but at the same time say you’re afraid of the one who is confident?”

wait a second, those two things don’t have anything to do with each other, other than that Jane was the second girl I met, that overwhelmed me with a very secure, in control, type of personality, and later I found out that they both had a fear of commitment. I don’t really know what the connection is, or even if there is any there… but this new girl may fit that bill. But basically I dont know anything about her besides her 1 paragraph profile and 2 very short, but direct, letters. So to toss her out before I even meet her is even too crazy for me. I *am* a very sensitive person though, and can read people exceptionally well… but like I told you before, a fear of commitment is something so hidden and dormant, I think it’s impossible to sense until it blows up in your face. i think the only thing I’ve seen that might tip me off to it it the ‘control’ factor…. I think these girls like to control the relationship so that way they wont get hurt. That’s a bad thing for me, because I’m really pretty easy to get along with and a big part of me is satisfying the one I’m with at every level. I think what happens is that after a while these girls lower their self defenses, get closer than they want, then all of sudden they panic and pull back, instead of trusting in it. but who knows.

“you answering my questions”

ok… we are going to have to expand upon what you already know… “emotionally stable, attractive, intelligent girl that generally is happy with herself and has a positive perspective on life.” ok… here we go:

- ‘emotionally stable’ …aka ‘no looneys’… means manic depressives, anyone that needs drama in their lives, or can’t offer me a secure relationship is OCO . It means, don’t make problem s when there aren’t any; don’t cause unrest when there isn’t anything to trouble yourself over. I want someone to have a *calming* affect on me… tune me down a notch, don’t get my emotions wound up any more than they need to be. If they are moody, or offer mixed signals, they should stay away.

- ‘attractive’ …ok, I break this down into 2 kinds…. the first kind is physical and if I could pick one girl who I think is pretty, that is just a normal girl, not a supermodel, I’d say this 27yr old girl in SC…
http://XXXXXXXXXX.jpg
…this was case 3, which by the way, I think is going to end in a no reply unfortunately, but that’s a long story. Anyway, I like her looks. No makeup, not made-up, just a beautiful girl who will be just as pretty when she’s 50 as she is now. Jane was just as pretty but in a different way:
http://XXXXXXX/images/Jane.jpg
… and (literally) the closer you got to her the prettier she was. Beautiful eyes too. But what beauty has to do with anything, I have no idea.

The second type of attraction is how the girl handles herself. This one is much harder to explain because I can’t offer images. Snotty, girls don’t have it obviously… generosity and compassion are quite sexy though. This is really hard to say…. it’s just that some girls have a ‘way’ about them that make them sexy. They don’t even have to be that pretty, but if they have that quality in them it doesn’t matter…. they are HOT.

- intelligence … most of the girls that I’ve really liked have been very smart. Jane had a masters in statistics, Marry was a double major and was editor of her shcool paper, Gail was pre med and I’m sure went on to med school, Lucy was in marketing and opened up her own firm. The girl needs to intellectually engage me on a daily basis… or she needs to have really big tits. heehhehehe j/k Also, I’m going to toss in here that being well traveled, and having unique life experiences also counts.

-”happy with herself” …. critical and really self explanatory.

- “has a positive perspective on life” - this is in response to Marry . I almost married her except she was a ‘complainer’…. negative by nature. And it brought the worst out in me. Jane on the other hand was always positive and made shitty things fun. I LOVED that about her. I’m more of ‘the glass has been filled up half way’ type of guy… ok, maybe more ‘empty’ than neutral… but I want someone to pull me over to the positive side. Marry pulled me down. That’s what ended it. She even moved to CO with me and really was level headed, a good complement to my craziness.

ok, that’s pretty much everything I can think of for now. Oh, I’m a huge fan of sex, but I’m not picky about what kind:) hehehehe

ok… time for bed…. need to be up at 4

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On 09/28/2005 06:23 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ok, I figured it out… it didn’t like some code i had in there…
hold on…

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On 09/28/2005 06:22 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ok, its too fucking long…. I’m going to break it up… I’ll end every part with ‘end’

part 1:

heeheheh yes, I’m *very* happy about your picture:) that’s great news… you’re going to get a lot more responses for sure now:) just you wait…

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On 09/28/2005 06:20 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

No. I only got a snippet.

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On 09/28/2005 06:20 pm PDT, admin wrote:

so you didn’t get it? tell me if you get it this time,,….

heeheheh yes, I’m *very* happy about your picture:) that’s great news… you’re going to get a lot more responses for sure now:) just you wait…

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On 09/28/2005 06:18 pm PDT, admin wrote:

hey, I just sent you an epic email but it only showed me the first paragragh… you get the whole thing? it was loooong

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On 09/28/2005 06:18 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

So, what about our deals?

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On 09/28/2005 06:16 pm PDT, admin wrote:

heeheheh yes, I’m *very* happy about your picture:) that’s great news… you’re going to get a lot more responses for sure now:) just you wait…

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On 09/28/2005 03:24 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

I’ve uploaded a pic but it says it may take up to 24 hours to “be approved.” Its a pic of me and one of my friends, I’m the one on the right. Happy?

Good, I’m just trying to get info on you. I have lots of single friends and if I can’t help my own sad, pathetic love life, I might as well help yours and theirs. That’s why I’ve been prying for info.:)

Anyways, as far as responses, I get my fair share and even went out to have coffee with someone today. See, not totally pathetic.

I’ll make you another deal, besides the one with me posting a pic and you answering my questions….

You seem to be relying entirely on meeting people online. Try the old-fashioned way. Try asking someone you meet in person out. Someone in the store, along the street, wherever. Just do it and see what happens. You seem to be limiting yourself to who you meet to just online and sorry to tell you this but they aren’t always who they say they are. In person, at least you can tell if they are geniune, if you are as good as you say you are at judging people. So try it. If you will, I will. I’m not afraid of rejection, but more and more, I’m beginning to feel that maybe I’m not really “looking”. Maybe I need the companionship just to have it. I don’t know.

And no, I’m not the mayor’s daughter…why?

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On 09/28/2005 03:09 pm PDT, admin wrote:

oh, btw…. when I do a search, you are the number 1 person in my list when I search by ‘overall fit’…. 5 hearts….. hehehehehe I thought you’d get a kick out of that:)

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On 09/28/2005 10:57 am PDT, admin wrote:

wait, this came out wrong:

“I don’t have time for superficial people and things. You are the exception right now, as far as spending lots of time.”

…. that didn’t come out right:) I just meant normally I don’t engage in a long email campaigns with people I don’t know. But by the same token I’m not trying to convince you to go out with me…. never was, except just as friends. So far you haven’t yet engaged my ’sexual drive’ ehheehhe, which is maybe a good thing:) But you have engaged my mind, and so I’m willing to drop a few hours on drawn out emails. At some point though I will ask you out as friends again so I can drink a beer while we debate, and I can get off the computer.

oh. last thing… you aren’t the mayor’s daughter, by chance are you?

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On 09/28/2005 10:44 am PDT, admin wrote:

heehhehe I have no paroblem hearing advice…. and you don’t seem to either… I think we are both open to ideas, if not, you would have never written back, right? I think there’s truth to everything that has been said so far, valid points made, and we both recognize that. Sure, we might not see exactly eye to eye, but who does? If we did, I don’t know if that would make us any more compatible or not. Getting along with someone doesn’t have to do so much with agreeing with them, it has to do with being able to see things from their perspective, understanding why they feel the way they do, and being able to accept them and their thoughts as they are. Some things simply cant be accepted… say, if a girl was a racist. I just couldn’t accept that. I wouldn’t be able to overlook that. end of story….’next’:)

First off…you have Gene Simmons boots?

hheeheheh that was a joke:) My point was I’m 5′7″, she’s 5′9″ and her profile said she wanted someone 5′11″ or taller. I’ve dated a few girls taller than me, and I have no issue with it whatsoever…. but some girls do. I DO have a thing about girls being ‘bigger’ than me though…. physically speaking, I like fairly skinny, slender, athletic girls. They can be taller than me, but I still like them to be ’smaller’ than me. It’s not that I would hold that against someone, but it’s not a plus for me. And yes I have dated girls bigger, or at least as big as me.

You want to know one of the things I like in women? ones that make me HOT for them. They don’t have to be beautiful. I don’t even like makeup… plain is just fine, but they need to turn me on physically. I know that sounds totally superficial, but to me, it’s important that I’m physically attracted to her. Now what is interesting, I think, is I took a test online like a year ago that showed me hundreds of girls and it made you sort thru them in all sorts of ways… the results were that I had absolutely no preference for hair color, skin color, eyes, facial shape, etc, BUT that I picked the top 5% of women that other people also found attractive, in every race… meaning, a hot asian girl was just as fine as a hot norwegian girl, etc. I have no type, other than very pretty with nice bodies.

…. unfortunately, this is a problem for me because it really limits the girls in the pool, AND it has nothing to do with anything, really. But that’s how I’ve always been. That’s not to say I haven’t gone out with fairly average looking girls, but there is always something about them that I think is sexy, that makes me want to tangle up in them. I just accept that now. Trying to go out with girls that don’t spark me, doesn’t work. If they have the best personality in the world, I’ll just want to be friends with them. They just don’t shift my gears into thinking ‘date’, ‘wife’, ‘fuck buddy’, whatever… I just think it’s evolution and so I don’t fight it. So when I surf profiles, I scan pictures first, then read about them.

So why then did I write you? First, there are only 23 women that turn up in my results in Yahoo, I went out with one (and it was very average) there are a few that didn’t write me back, and the rest I wasn’t interested in. In other words, I’d rather be alone than with someone that didn’t turn me on. I started looking at ‘no picture profiles’ because I was bored. I read yours and thought I’d just write because I thought you’d have better luck with a different approach…. I thought that ‘no picture’ without a detailed profile will padmin ably lead you nowhere fast. You tell me. Are you getting lots of people inquiring about you? I really don’t know. But between yahoo, match, mate1, singlesnet, I get something like 20-30 inquires a day. The problem is many are from around the country, lots don’t have pictures, very little in their profiles …and then they write me something like “you look very interesting, tell me more about yourself”… sorry, I don’t have a cut and paste for that, and I’m not going to write you a book when you put out no effort and I have no idea what you look like and anything about your personality. But all in all, I think that is a pretty good response, but like I said, I’m picky:) That girl I picked wrote the following:

“I am a rare find. I say this, not to sound arrogant, but I know what I have to offer someone of the male persuasion. I am smart, beautiful (inside & out), funny, genuine, and most of all…real. I am looking for someone who possesses some of the same qualities and shares my passion for sports (playing and watching.) I have to admit, I don’t go out much because I’m picky about the people I choose to share my time with. Last but not least, I implore you to be a person of your word, and NO GAMES!!!!! One last thing, if it seems as though you haven’t actually READ my profile and are just responding to my pics…keep on movin’, not interested.”

…pretty short and sweet. Yeah it borders on arrogance, but it also tells me that she values herself, and many girls don’t. ‘picky about the people I choose to share my time with’ is another attractive feature… I’m the same way, not just with girls I date, but with friends, dogs, whatever, as well. I don’t have time for superficial people and things. You are the exception right now, as far as spending lots of time. I’m enjoying the debate, partially because it forces me to define myself.

“I don;t believe you can meet someone online and have a connection. I don;t know why, but I do.”

that’s not true…. you connected with me. maybe not in a way you wanted, but you met me, you read my profile, you read my website, you heard intimate thoughts, and you went out of your way to help me get exposed to your friend…. you connected. And since I’m comparing all these women, I’ll compare you to my old girlfriend as well… you are soooo guarded. You tell me nothing about yourself, in relative terms, and yet you want to hear more from me about the type of girl I want to meet. How about this, add a picture of yourself to your profile, and I’ll be happy to tell you more about the type of girls I’m into. and I’ll answer the rest of your questions below. deal? That’s not much to ask, you give a little, you get a little.

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On 09/27/2005 06:30 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

First off…you have Gene Simmons boots?

Second, I’m going back to my skeptical thing. I don;t believe you can meet someone online and have a connection. I don;t know why, but I do.

Which brings me to my third thing? Why try it myself? I don’t know. I give up.

Back to you? If you cut off a lot of stuff, what was it? What are you looking for? You say you want someone capable of making a commitment but at the same time say you’re afraid of the one who is confident?

And as far as the prospects… if she’s like your ex, you’re doomed to repeat history. And the last one, I don;t know enought about to offer my opinion, like it matters to you anyway.

I just think you should take a chance. Look somewhere you wouldn’t otherwise look. You haven’t had any luck so far. Maybe the person perfect for you is right under your nose..and I’m not saying me, because you seem too high maintenance. JK. Seriously though, expand your horizons and maybe, just maybe, she’ll be standing right in front of you. If you don’t, you may miss out of her.

See, it’s easier to dish out the advice than take it.

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On 09/27/2005 02:29 pm PDT, admin wrote:

ehehheeh….

wait… before i forget again… I met her yesterday and we set up an appointment for friday. I honestly don’t know which way she’ll go with it, or if she can even use it. I’ve been interviewed by a few people and I’m always amazed at what they key in on. anyway, looks like I have you to thank for my 15 minutes of fame, or however that goes… so thank you:)

I agree, the profile could use some editing and more work, but the important part is it seems to be working because I’ve gotten quite a bit of responses between all the places I signed up…. unfortunately you’re right… I don’t think the women are really getting the nuances of my run-on sentence about who I’m looking for:) Unlike yours though, my description was ‘positive’ and ‘unrestricted’… and, I’m serious: I ran out of space… I had like almost as much on my date but then I got hit with the limit, so I just hacked away some of my stuff, and all of my stuff on my date.

But really, I’m like you, I don’t really know until I see the whole package. Since we are psychoanalyzing, I have a date with this girl this weekend:

———————-
Case Study #2

http://XXXXXXXXXXX.jpeg

… pretty physically attractive girl, I think. I’d show you her text profile, but she temporarily shut it down because she was getting too much response. She is 5′9″, 35, lives in SC, is a dog trainer, self employed, parents live closeby and she’s considering moving back. She unfortunately reminds me of my EX though, just by the way she is handling herself… its hard to describe… very confident and in control… here is her last sentence in her first reply: “Please let me know if you’ll be around….would love to meet you.” I mean, that isn’t beating around the bush, you know? Most people (besides me) don’t just ‘commit’ like that… take a step that could end in rejection. The difference is that they aren’t used to rejection, whereas I just have a VERY high tolerance for failure:)

We’ll see, but this could be another repeat of Jane . At least I’ll walk in eyes wide open. I know you think I’m nuts, and I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you tell me, what is a pretty 35yr old is still doing single? You know? never married, no kids, totally confident, take charge attitude… she asked me out btw…. I noticed she scanned me at match and saw she lived 4hrs away, so I though no harm in contacting her since there is no chance in hell anything would come of it. basically told her I was happy that i caught her eye, that I had a secret flirting thing going on with a girl that looked just like her in high school and who married one of my friends (much later), and told her I hoped she finds who’s she’s looking for… essentially some guy like 6″ taller than me…. even if I wore my Gene Simmons KISS boots, I don’t think I’d be that tall:) I NEVER thought she’d reply to such a bizarre opening letter, let alone ask me out.

… and I like that:) Right or wrong, she just got through my initial defenses…. and not just on looks alone. Her profile seemed confident as well… but like many other ‘potentials’, she’s either well put together, or a fake:) we’ll see what happens when we talk. I still can’t see this going anywhere though…

—————–
…anyway, FYI that’s just *one* type of girl I *might* like. She’s physically attractive to me, she’s confident in herself, she likes dogs and understands them (which is important because dogs have very basic communication skill sets), she writes well and is to the point…. no BS there (like you:)… and she likes me, which is part of the equation as well…. the spark. The only problem is I like all sorts of different personality types, so this is just one type I like that is now a potential ‘date’. Honestly though, my EX was the second girl, that made the pattern a pattern…. if this one is like that too, then we’ll know for sure that the stove is indeed hot:)

I have a ‘case 3′ though, if you’re interested in my virtual non-existent love life that I’m really holding out some hope for… she’s a civil engineer, very cool, 27, and lives 30 minutes from me. It’s a long story and we wont find out if she’s going to accept my dinner invitation until tomorrow (or so) so it might die on the vine…. we’ll see. Something makes me think though that she’d be a healthier girl to date.

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On 09/27/2005 11:54 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You ran out of space, but still gave very little info about WHAT you are looking for. You said your ex had everything you wanted, minus the commitment thing, so why don’t you use that knowledge and add it to your profile. Sorry, My turn to psychoanalyze.

Anyways, jut wanted to know if She got in touch with you? I look forward to the article.

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On 09/25/2005 11:44 am PDT, admin wrote:

oh, once again, I forgot…. I wrote your friend an email and introduced myself. Thanks:)

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On 09/25/2005 11:25 am PDT, admin wrote:

“And you said I was vague?”

roflllllll hehehehe I ran out of SPACE! 2000 characters? bah, that’s an introductory paragraph! heheeheh no, you’re totally right, but that one long run on sentence pretty much sums up the goal. Any girl that thinks she has all those qualities can write me anytime.

“need something different or less intense.”

you may be very right there, but one of my overriding ‘life problems’ is I have no sense of moderation in anything. I’m either totally ‘on’, or I’m ‘off’…. there is no middle ground with me. I don’t think it’s healthy, but I’ve always been like that… don’t know what caused it, or how to fix it. I either win big or lose everything. With relationships though, I don’t really believe in ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, just levels of compatability. My last relationship before this one lasted 4 years and ended with us being good friends. In fact, I think every girl I’ve gone out with since college would recommend me as a genuine person.

When I was younger I had a lot of relationships that didn’t mean anything but in the last 15 years, I’ve gone the other way and steered clear of relationships where I saw the top-end. Ultimately I want to be free to give endlessly to someone who would appreciate what I have to offer. I don’t lie, or cheat, or play any games. I don’t want any turbulence in my life and just looking for security and stability. I’m not saying I like talking about deep things all the time, but at the core, I want something to be there, something worth investing in. The problem with my last relationship was not just in our relationship…. it was when she bought her car, or would go out to dinner…. the commitment wasn’t just to me, it had to do with anything… it was a real disorder. Unfortunately, it was like a fear of heights…. you didn’t know she had one until she was in the situation. It’s hard to explain…

Honestly, I think I just need to get back out in society. I lived in a one room cabin for a year in alaska, in a tent for 7 months in AZ, on a potato farm in the middle of nowhere in Idaho, etc., and the last 5 years on a ranch a few miles outside a town smaller than here out in CO. I work on the internet out of my house and just got back today from running before dawn. It’s not that I’m *that* picky, I simply don’t *meet* people… men or women. When I got into cars 10 years ago I was willing to give up everything, (including a potential wife) to become a world champion driver. I created a life to make that possible. Now I feel like I want to do something else…. I’ve outgrown my shell. I’m not saying I want to settle down and get married right now, but I wouldn’t mind meeting that girl now and have a few years to get to know her.

anyway, it was fun talking with you. I wish you the very best as well. I have high hopes for you:)

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On 09/25/2005 09:49 am PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

You definitely have a good outlook. I wish you luck in finding that someone who is “emotionally stable, attractive, intelligent girl that generally is happy with herself and has a positive perspective on life.”

And you said I was vague? Anyways, you’ll find her somewhere, maybe when you least expect it. If you had such an intense relationship that went nowhere before, maybe you need something different or less intense.( My turn to psychoanalyze:) Well, I’ll let you go for now. I’m not much of the epic-email writer.

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On 09/25/2005 07:16 am PDT, admin wrote:

I almost forgot…. thank you for her contact info:) I get easily distracted:)

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On 09/25/2005 07:07 am PDT, admin wrote:

heehhe I hope I’m not a psychologist, because if I am, I’ve done a particularly bad job on myself:)

hey, take everything I say with a grain of salt… I’m more like you than you might think. To be honest though, it sounds like maybe you haven’t had much luck recently finding a guy that would click with you and that maybe you’ve taken the brunt of some relationships that you hoped might turn out, but didn’t. There are indeed a bunch of losers in this world and you will in fact find more than your fair share of them in this and other similar services. It’s hard to weed through them… lots of people here ended up here because it’s a last resort. Basically the older you get, the worse it gets. Most the people that you’d want to connect with, are already married or taken. That’s not being skeptical, that’s simply a statistical fact.

I got online here about a month ago, after a girl (who I fell head over heels for) ripped my heart out. We had been seeing each other for about 3.5 months in a really intense relationship… unfortunately she had a long standing ‘fear of commitment’ issue that she has been seeing a therapist for 2 yrs about, and despite never having a fight, never ever being irritated with each other, the relationship couldn’t progress. I was physically sick over it for weeks… I actually threw up when I realized it was over, that’s how bad I was. She was everything I ever wanted. But the more she liked me, the worse it got. It was the strangest thing. But it also made sense…. what is a beautiful, intelligent, sexy 32 yr old still doing single? Well, now we know:) So chalk that one up on your side for being guarded about love at first site encounters.

Anyway, my first profile sounded quite a bit like yours… they asked me what I wanted and I responded by telling them what I didn’t want. I’m not saying that is wrong, because it does draw lines in the sand, and that might filter a few of the bad apples out, but (mixed metaphors aside) since you have a blank canvas here, you might as well paint a pretty picture of yourself and a potential mate. For example, instead of saying you don’t want to date any more liars and cheaters, say that you value ‘honestly and fidelity’ …or whatever you want. But if you don’t KNOW what you want, it’s ok to say that too… that’s why your profile caught my eye. I read that and thought to myself that not only were you being honest with me, but you were honest with yourself, which is a step in the right direction, at least with me. The only problem is that all by itself, your profile isn’t all that attractive…. or maybe I should say, I don’t know what kind of guy would find that text, all by itself, attractive, and say, “I think I’m going to email THIS one”. It sounded more like something you wanted to say to the world, rather than a sincere attempt at meeting someone.

Look at it this way; imagine you were at a social gathering…. you saw a really hot guy that kept looking over at you. He dressed the way you liked, his knuckles didn’t drag on the ground, he had never been in the inside of a prison, sanitarium, or a barnyard animal… all the qualities that a single 27yr old might look for in a man. Finally, he comes over to you, says something witty and charming and you respond by saying what? That you are a skeptical person and don’t believe in love at first site? or do you ask him if he’s as together inside as he looks on the outside, because if he’s not, you don’t want to have anything to do with him because you’ve found that people like that need too much maintenance? It’s a tough call:) heheehe You know what I’m saying? BE skeptical. BE guarded. Just don’t define yourself that way to the rest of us poor bastards that just want to get a date with a nice girl… unless, of course, that’s all that’s inside you.

I don’t know… I say go for broke. Go big or go home. Lay it all out there, then shoot them all down as they take the bait, if you don’t feel they are up to your standards. At least you have a better chance that way. And that means adding some pictures as well…. they say profiles with pictures get 10-20% more clickthroughs. Its all statistics in here. Personally, I only surf profiles with pictures. Yes, that is *very* shallow. I’ll be the first to admit that. But it’s just not about beauty, you can get a real feel for some people, by their expression, how they keep themselves, if they have, say, pink hair, or a swastika on their forehead, or some other telling sign that maybe things won’t work out as hoped. I don’t judge people, as whole, based on looks, but when it comes to dates, yes, totally…. or should I say partially. They have to back physical attraction up with an equally beautiful personality. Girls that I’m attracted to HAVE to stimulate me intellectually on a daily basis, or else it won’t go anywhere. So yeah, I have very high standards for the people I’m intimate with… heehheeh and that is *precisely* why I am 34 yrs old and still single:)

I don’t know… I obviously don’t have all the answers. I can’t even tell you why I felt compelled to write you several epic emails. I guess because I identify with you, at some level. Maybe I’m trying to prove to myself that true love at first site is possible and that if I stay in the game long enough, someday I’ll win out. But I don’t know… I guess I’m skeptical;)

===============

On 09/24/2005 06:08 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

Are you sure you’re not a psychologist? just kidding. I guess you are padmin ably right, that I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe I;m just waiting for it to find me or I;m going about it all wrong. Or maybe I’m too guarded. Who knows, but I appreciate the advice.

Anyway, I passed on the info to my friend. Her name is Jaime and she is the bureau chief at the local office of The Paper. The number to the newsroom is 333-3333. I’m certain she’ll be interested in meeting you.

===============

On 09/24/2005 02:28 pm PDT, admin wrote:

“I hope you consider what i said.”

oh absolutely. I’m ok with all of it because it’s to the point, and it’s how you really feel… good for you. And honestly, if I hear another, “I want to find my Prince so I can cuddle and walk on the beach with him” I think I’m going to puke:)

Chemistry is indeed evident early on, but you *telling* me that doesn’t tell *me* if *we* might have any chemistry… if you follow me…. that was my point. But you’re right; you gave me enough information there about yourself to think that maybe we wouldn’t be the best fit after all and hence I didn’t try to ‘put my moves’ on you (heheehhe), but, well, we live *here* ehhehe …so it’s not exactly like there is a rocking 20+/’30 something’ crowd to choose from here:) But since you know more about me than I you, I’ll have to take your word that maybe we weren’t meant ‘to be’:)

As far as your reporter friend goes, sure, I’d appreciate an introduction. cars are a pretty colorful story, worthy of some press. If you want, forward my website on to her: http://XXXXXXX to give her a heads up and see if she would be interested in speaking with me.

…And as far as you are concerned, if you ever wanted to meet up for a drink at the pub, or a slice at the pizza place, let me know…. I promise it won’t be a date and I won’t hit on you…. truthfully I’m bored as hell and would just like to get out of my house. (I can’t make it sound less attractive and un-date-like than that:) If not, I understand, and at least appreciate the exchange of ideas and a possible introduction to your friend at the paper. …But if this is the last time we talk, keep it in the back of your mind that its ok to be skeptical, but remember that it *can* lead to self fullfilling prophecies, if you’re not careful.

take care,

===============

On 09/24/2005 12:11 pm PDT, “lil_sportsfan ” wrote:

We may not be a match, but I have someone I think would find you interesting…for a news article that is. I’ve read your profile and it seems as though you have quite a story to tell, and I went to high school with this girl who is now a reporter for the local paper. If you would be interested doing so, let me know and I’ll get you in contact with her.

Thanks and I hope you consider what i said.

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On 09/24/2005 06:11 am PDT, admin wrote:

“I don’t believe in love at first site”

ehehhehe I do. Why not post a picture of yourself for all of us to see? Physical attraction is one part of that ‘chemistry’ thing you are talking about. In may cases it can be the difference between a friend and a mate. (It’s a long know fact guys are more visually oriented than girls… in other words we’ve been scientifically proven to be more shallow:) But, by the same token, your profile text doesn’t give us much to go on either… your ‘personality type’ says you’re idealist, but what little you wrote was pretty negative, not just skeptical.

Anyway, I guess all of us in here are looking for someone we haven’t yet met, but maybe you might want to increase your chances by offering a little more information to all the guys that are searching too(?) Your choice.

Good luck and take care,

===============

===============

===============

Looking for someone just not sure who

(lil_sportsfan)

27; Somewhere

Personality Fit: OK

Personality Type:Idealist
Love Style: Destined

More About Me:

First off, I’m a skeptic and not sure what to expect, but here we go. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe that chemistry is evident early on. Without it, there’s no future and it’s not something that can be manufactured.

I’m looking for someone who knows who they are and is comfortable enough with themselves that they don’t need me to constantly provide them with those assurances. If you’re clingy or in constant need of someone, look elsewhere.

Gender:

Woman seeking Man

Location:

Somewhere

Age:

I’ll tell you later

Body Type:

Slender

Height:

5′ 3″

Eyes:

Brown

Hair:

Dark Brown

Ethnicity:

Caucasian (white)

Marital:

Single - never married

Have Kids:

No

Want Kids:

Yes

Education:

College Grad

Employed:

Full-time

Profession:

I’ll tell you later

Income:

I’ll tell you later

Smokes:

Doesn’t smoke

Drinks:

Drinks socially

Living:

I’ll tell you later

Social:

Shy at first, but warm up quickly

TV:

News Junkie, Sports Nut, Dramas, Documentaries

Languages:

English

Religion:

Christian / Protestant

Services:

Rarely

Political:

Middle of the road

Humor:

Clever / Quick Witted

Interests:

Arts, Community Service, Family, Outdoor Activities, Photography, Watching Sports, Theater, Travel

Sign:

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 21)

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